literature

Five Day Demise

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July 7th, 2006
One on One with myself

Me: What up bitch?
Me: no need for frivolity today, I feel so sucky...
Me: why is that?
Me: i didn’t do anything but sit inside the house, eat crappy food, being grounded sucks
Me: yeah, just the other day-
Me: no reminiscing right now bub
Me: damn, than what do you want to do. Up for a good game of scrabble.
Me: no way in hell
Me: now, what’s wrong with scrabble?
Me: you’re wrong with scrabble
Me: wanna make out?
Me: already did that this morning, loses its touch after awhile
Me: You’re loss, whatchya thinkin’ about
Me: not much, just how much more boredom’s in store for me tomorrow
Me: Yep, you’re a whiny sonuvabitch
Me: what’d you say?
Me: Nothing
Me: an ice cold milkshake would really hit the spot
Me: What about a beer?
Me: eh, maybe...
Me: Or a lady
Me: only if she was a lady, I’ve had enough of you’re tricks
Me Alright, alright, sheesh
Me: Sheesh is like yeesh on meth
Me: That was just stupid. You’re losing you’re sense of humor
Me: fag
Me: Whatever, so anyways, what time is it
Me: if you must know, its 11:48 PM
Me: Shouldn’t you be in bed right now?
Me: i would if I was tired
Me: you’re always tired
Me: just at the wrong times
Me: I wonder if jesus is tired?
Me: ...shut up
Me: so…who do you like? Like Like
Me: not you
Me: burn
Me: i played several videogames today, some of em’ had scratches so they didn’t work
Me: that’s cause you ass up your games
Me: you’re being the ass right now
Me: bluto?
Me: wasn’t he from popeye?
Me: I dunno
Me: i am a minstrel
Me: you are not, you’ve gotten worse at guitar
Me: you’ve gotten worse at  your mom
Me: and at insults
Me: soup, there is good and bad soup in this world
Me: like that crappy gurney mills soup you get at aldi’s
Me: exactly
Me: when’s last time you’ve been there
Me: oh, it must have been last week. i went there and bought cookies for one dollar and fourty-nine cents
Me: could’ve got a blowjob for that much
Me: not a good one
Me: some of the other packard stores are pretty cheap too, like merchandise outlet
Me: yes, I recall you buying lotion  there
Me: yeah, they had this sale on it, barely a dollar. The container broke on the way home. Couldn’t even use it to burn shit.
Me: you know. i break shit all the time, but I’m horrible at intentional destruction
Me: tell me about it...on second thought, don’t
Me: well its twelve ten now, I’m not sure how much more idiocy I can handle.
Me: righto, g’night

July 8, 2006

And the hunt continues. It’s nigh ten thirty right now. Someone let the dog up this morning because it just went into my room and started sniffing my face a few hours ago. Kind of got me mad. One more hour of sleep would mean one less hour of being bored in this god-forsaken house.

The day could bring anything, but most likely a plethora of rpg videogames meshed inbetween manga and Tolkein. That’ s right. I started reading the two towers. Would’ve read the first book if it wasn’t for bad experiences. I read the first half of the fellowship of the ring no less than four times. Couldn’t ever finish the damn thing.

I don’t like midieval novels that much anymore. I haven’t even read much besides the hobbit in that sort of literature. Tolkein seems alright, but everything about his style has become such a cliché nowadays. I’ll try to see how well it connects to the movies as I read further.

Now, you have to understand that I would try to go outside today. Even something as simple as a walk would be grand. It really would. But, that is not possible. Not without my parents suspecting me of going to my friends house while on punishment anyways.

Remembering the sun and the fun times is always in my heart. That’s something that no one can take away from me. Hmmmph, about this time last year I walked all the way to bender park. A fifteen mile trip there and back at least. I walked in all black, as usual. These kids thought offered me a ride back home, thought I was drunk. I feel myself talking about this pointless garbage too much. Being alone doing anything for an extended period of time is very unhealthy. You start living in your head and confusing yourself with your niche in society. Unless you can bring those worlds together. I haven’t seen that yet.

I’ve said this kind of stuff before, so I’ll leave it at that. It is quite possible to go on writing on for hours and hours now. Any better ideas to spend my time? Prolly not. I’m not positive how many days I’ve spent in fifty square feet setting. Too much, no doubt. Heh, I just got a funny thought. What would happen if my parents read the converstation I made with myself out of boredom. They’d probably think I was nuts and arrange for me to meet with my quack of a psichiatrist next week.

But if I could do what I wanted without serious repercussions...that probably wouldn’t even matter. So long as I’m out of here. One thing you want to show when someone attempts to punish you or lower your morale is indifference. Don’t try to ask for a lesser sentence or a second chance. Once someone finds out you’re weak they’ll exploit it and be encouraged to pursue. No doubt. No shame.

You also have to know that the easiest way to earn respect is through disrespect. If you assert your defiance to someone’s ego and rules by violence other similar means, they will break. Fear. Once they’ve realized you don’t care and you don’t fear them, they have no place over you. I kind of thought of that when I visited the fireworks in Grant Park.  Again, not really a moral way of thinking. I just think it’s the easiest method to gain respect, not that I do it.

Tuining back in at midafternoon. In the past six hours I’ve eaten a bagel, had a shower and spilled soda all over my dog (don’t ask). A shitty horror flick at the movies would be awesome. Totally meant for a day like this. I’ve seen so many of the third-rate new horror movies by now. Mostly with Lasher and Ryan. I’ll try to name a few off the top of my head. The Devil’s Reject’s, Silent Hill, Resident Evil II, The Grudge and probably some other crap. I also saw Xmen 3 and Alien V. Predator, but those don’t count. They are not “spooky”.

The word spooky reminded me of anime club. (don’t know why). There’s supposed to be a meeting at the museum this Saturday, of course I won’t be able to attend it being grounded. I liked anime club though. What a pity, anime club will is the only extracurricular school activity I had the pleasure of. It’s a lot like boyscouts used to be in the sense that few things get accomplished and we do too many activities. That could be said of many things I don’t care to recall at the moment. But anyways, we watched plenty of anime and even had a pizza party at the end of the year. Woo-woo, colonel Standish.

That bagel was so delicious. Wish there were other things to eat. Meat would be nice. One thing that’s unusually satisfying during the summer is visiting thrift stores. Goodwill, Value Village, you name it. Especially on bicycle. Makes the whole trip so much more personal. They have so many trinkets there, never know what you’re going to find. I feel that pinch of nolstalgia when I discover some ‘ancient’ relic that I might have owned ten years ago. Its not the exact one they’re selling there, but at one point I owned it. I lived with it. That’s what mattered. Until recently, I haven’t been that interested in clothing in those stores. Kind of smells like that tarnished musty plastic you’d see at your grandparents’ house.

In fact, a thrift store itself is a key to the past. Possesions long gone can tell so many stories. You can find out about yourself, or the person to whom they belonged to. I don’t advise buying electronics over there. Na-ah, bad idea. Work like old people.

Books are decent, as long as its intact you still get the same entertainment value. Now that I think of it, I didn’t read that many books I bought. Definitely not all the way through. Meh.

Still need to ride to other places out of South Milwaukee. And I’m talking about my bike sister. (pardon my eighties frivolity). I don’t have a license, in fact, I don’t even know how to drive a car. I’d end up killing all the passengers in some wild car wreck if I had to to ride in an emergency. That’s another thing I should learn how to do soon. But I still like the bike better. A cleaner view of the scenery and rush of air is much preferable to the stale swagger of automobiles.

People and there stupid cars. It’s an annoyingly popular fad to scream out obscenities at random strangers in the car, make it double if they say “you’re gay”. Ha Ha Ha, I’m gay, I ride cock and lick dick, hurrah hurrah. And further more, I’m not gay. So there’s no point. Erm, I’m done for now.

July 10th, 2006

Probably got the date right. Its morning, The birds are singing, bowels rumbling. Snicker. A most unusual thing happened the other day. You see, yesterday, I was just dying to go to china town. I asked my parents the next time we’d visit. They said today. It was ethereal and bizarre in the sense that I rarely get the things want the exact day I crave them.

It may seem childish, but having you’re desire fulfilled the very day you want it is quite different from beholding it tomorrow or next week. I had this kind of experience once before. I wanted to eat chinese food at the buffet. My parents took me the following day and I just didn’t feel in the mood at the time. Big difference. Time matters.

The trip there was no treat, my siblings raged a constant wave of petty quarrel and prating the whole two hours there. I wish they’d just shutup once in awhile.

China town was bustling and noisy, even busier than usual. I ate some chicken curry at the restaurant. Everyone seemed fixated on the glowing telivision set in the corner of the room. Soccer. I sucked at that sport. But more importantly, the food was good.


As I waited for my parents to finish I visited the merchants and peddlers outside. Everything in the parking lot circle was filled with plastic jewels and electronic trumpery. This is the kind of stuff you try to stay away from in china town. If it’s sold outside, don’t buy it. I was temporarily interested in some of the turtles they had for sale. I was even thinking about getting one. How cool would a turtle be. They turned me off moments later. You see, people at china town speak about as much english as I can speak ancient latin. I asked how much they cost and they told me twenty dollars. I asked what kind of turtles they were, to which he replied again, “twenty dollars”. No more shopping over there.

Anything you can imagine over there, is meant only to last as long as the trip back home. There’s a logic behind this too, it’s an indirect “no return policy”. Kids will love carnival-ish things. They’ll want a plastic sword or mechanical toy that’s apt to hold their attention no more than half a day at most, when they will toss it into a great heap of unused play things.

The good stores are in the downtown area. Hruck Hruck. I find that little bakery that I was looking for. It sells huge bags of warped and deformed fortune cookies a dollar a pop. I bought to. I had ten bucks to spend, not much, but enough. They had an exquisite paint gallery in one of the art shops down the street. These were actual painting, not poorly copied crap pasted on a canvas. I really like the intricasy of the india ink. Asian art is very vibrant. Not even that expensive, around $150 for a 2’4 ft painting. I’d have bought had I owned more money.

Of course there were the typical tourist shops too. They sold anime posters and scroll that seemed halfway descent until I found out they were made on cheap paper. It’s supposed to be cloth, CLOTH!

June 11th, 2006

I’ll try to pick up where I left off. Forget it, I had a good time though. I did visit my friends today. That was probably a bad idea since I’m still punished, also because I enjoyed myself so much that the thought of going home was depressing, and my return was inevitable.

You need to feel happiness to be miserable, and a freqent swing between them is one of the worst feelings to have. I don’t believe many people that say they’re always glum and morose. If they were like that all the time they’d be accustomed to it. The ultimate repression is living between those too. It’s hard to adjust, undpredictable and altogether chaotic. The really bad thing about this is the extended chance of prolonged punishment. My simple-minded parents (not to say I’m not) connect one cause with a result, and the cause is never them, at least in their heads. Perhaps a bit lacking in the imagination department. Ergo, because I saw my friends, and I came home depressed, It was their fault and the best way to mollify the situation is locking me inside the house even more. But enough of that. To be honest, I really don’t know why I was so depressed. I can only speculate.

At Mike’s I watched the first four episodes of Red Dwarf. They were different, but as hilariously entertaining as any of the other episodes I watched. Tomorrow, If I’m allowed to, I’d enjoy watching the second disc.

Then again, babysitting. I hate that, I really do. That’s what I have to do tomorrow. The summer’s half gone already. I spent the first two-weeks sleeping and the second with slight variations in the environment. So in total, about one week of getting up and out of the house. Pathetic...
five crappy days inside the house. this really belongs in the scraps. couldn't resist but to share it with you all...
© 2006 - 2024 AbbadonFlare
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AN-Develare's avatar
Kid Patrol gives you trouble deleting things?

So why did you double post again?